


cinnamon apple pie

by alter__idem



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, College Student Adam Parrish, Farmer Ronan Lynch, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Ronan Lynch is a confident gay, Secret Crush, Soft Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, The Barns (Raven Cycle), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, basically adam has a crush on ronan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alter__idem/pseuds/alter__idem
Summary: When Adam had agreed to join Gansey, Blue and Matthew for the holidays, he would have never imagined he was actually agreeing to the longest road trip known to date.The one where Adam has a crush on Ronan and they spend a whole week doing christmas stuff and kissing and starting to fall in love.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 5
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter One: Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> this is going to be my first multichapter fic and I really hope you enjoy it.

22nd of December.

When Adam had agreed to join Gansey, Blue and Matthew for the holidays, he would have never imagined he was actually agreeing to the longest road trip known to date.

Because Gansey and Blue did not just go back home, from the campus on Cambridge to Henrietta, simply driving there which would have taken no more than six hours top.  
But no, they just weren’t made to be rushed.  
Adam admired the way his friends were able to just decide that they wanted to take something slow and actually do it while Adam would have already arrived at his hometown two or three hours ago.

So obviously they had decided to spend the whole trip stopping at each monument, beach, field or beautiful thing they found.  
And Adam was starting to get sleepy, his forehead pressed against the backseat window.  
He could feel his eyes slowly closing, but of course that was the moment Gansey chose to look at him and smile.

“Are you sure your Ronan is okay with having us at the Barns? During Christmas?” Gansey asked Matthew again. “I tried to call him but he wouldn’t pick up the phone” Gansey’s brows furrowed and he looked truly conflicted.

“He said I could bring a friend” Matthew shrugged and smiled at Adam.  
They had met because they both worked at the coffee shop just outside campus.  
Matthew was a year younger than them all, but they had a great friendship going on.

Adam was the only one in the car that hadn’t met the infamous Ronan Lynch, even with him being also from Henrietta they had never actually met.  
He had attended the public highschool there with Blue, while Gansey, Matthew and Ronan had attended Aglionby Academy, and it showed.  
Blue had met Gansey while working at Nino’s and a year later they had started dating, two years later, their relationship was still going on as strong, if not more, as the first month.

Of course Adam had seen Ronan Lynch, it was kind of hard not to, with his beautiful pale skin and icy blue eyes.  
Hell, Ronan Lynch had been his sexual awakening.  
Thanks to him he had discovered that maybe not all boys thought other boys were pretty, but that he definitely did.  
There had been a period of more or less five months when Adam was so infatuated with the image Ronan projected onto the world that he had waited every single day until Gansey picked up Blue in front of their High School, just so that maybe, he could catch a glimpse of a perfect buzzcut and black back tattoos.

But that time was gone, and, once Matthew had reassured him that Ronan didn’t mind him staying at the Barns along with Blue and Gansey, he hadn’t really found an excuse not to go.  
Also, he wanted to see Ronan again, he wanted to discover what the boy’s voice was like, and what his preferred hot drink was, if he got excited for Christmas…  
He wanted to know Ronan Lynch.

He let out a breath and looked through the window again.  
Matthew’s fingers found Adam’s in the middle seat and their fingers intertwined, the blond boy gave his fingers a soft squeeze, like saying, hey, it will be fine, you’re gonna love this, I promise.

Adam shot him a grateful glance and his lips tugged at the ends, slowly making his lips stretch completely in a soft smile.

Okay, yeah, sure.  
It would be fine.  
Totally fine.

\-----------------------------------------------

Everything was certainly not totally fine.

They had just parked Gansey’s camaro and walked to the door of a beautiful soft blue painted barn.  
There were seven others around but it was obvious that the one they were in front of was the main one.  
They were all covered in snow, and the only thing Adam could think about was how incredibly beautiful it would be to have some place that looked like this to call home.  
He had never known a home.  
And to be honest, he was feeling a little pang of jealousy just looking around.

It's fine.  
He told himself.  
Totally fine.

It was certainly not totally fine.

Because they knocked on the door and thirty seconds later the most beautiful boy Adam had ever seen was standing on the other side of it.  
Looking sure of himself, standing proud at the other side of the doorstep.

The perfect beautiful blue eyes crinkled with something that could only be interpreted as happiness and Adam felt his heart constricting in his chest.  
Holy fuck.

The boy’s gaze settled on Gansey first and immediately brought the other boy into a big, warm hug.  
“I’ve fucking missed you, Dick”.  
Gansey smiled and got through the door.

Then was Blue’s turn and the boy smirked.  
“Hey maggot”.  
There was no actual sign of malice on his tone, he was just teasing.  
And it was just so, so sexy.  
Blue also got through the door, taking off her coat the moment he entered the house.  
Then Matthew’s beautiful golden curls were buried in Ronan’s ugly Christmas sweater and both boys were laughing softly.  
Ronan’s hand ended in Matthew’s shoulders, their gazes never leaving each other.  
“Shit, I’ve missed you so much”.  
Ronan’s eyes were wet, but not one tear fell out of them.  
Then the boy’s pink lips were against Matthew’s forehead and a soft laugh was extracted from the boy’s lips.  
“I love you Ro”.

And then it was him.  
Because the blond boy had just gone straight to the living room like their other two friends,taking off his scarf.

Okay well, that was a weird situation.

Ronan’s eyes were studying him with curiosity.  
Well, at least it wasn’t a clear ‘you have nothing to do here, what are you doing at my house?’.

Adam cleared his throat and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Adam”. He offered his hand and Ronan didn’t hesitate in taking it with his own and shaking it.

“Ronan”.

Adam smiled a bit.

And then it happened.  
Ronan opened his mouth again.

“You’re pretty”.

Adam’s stomach basically did a backflip and stilled on his insides.

Okay maybe he still had a crush on Ronan Lynch.


	2. Chapter Two: Bread Making

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do I like him? I don’t know, I mean, I’ve only talked to him for like three minutes” Ronan shrugged. “Am I attracted to him? Yes I am”. He admitted without a problem.

Ronan had never thought of himself as someone who had a type.  
He had dated five boys till that day, and no one had looked even remotely similar to the other four.  
And then Adam fucking Parrish was standing on his doorstep, looking like a christmas miracle.  
Oh he definitely had a type.  
Sandy brown thin hair, freckles all over his face, soft brown skin, sea blue eyes and plump yet thin lips.

Ronan bit his lip and looked at him.

“You’re pretty”.  
If he really liked the boy, there was no time to waste, he had to drop hints as soon as possible to make sure Adam knew that he liked boys, that he liked him.

Adam smiled and blushed a little.  
Then something happened in his face.  
His jaw tensed and his eyes nothing but flew to Ronan’s with determination.  
“You’re hot”.  
Ronan’s insides went crazy inside him, his heart thumping uncontrollably, his lungs tensing for a second, making him lose his breath.  
Ronan smiled at Adam and took a step back.  
“Welcome to the barns”.  
Adam looked at him one last time and made way to the living room, leaving Ronan standing by the door after closing it, his eyes following Adam’s figure.

Ronan cleared his throat and walked to the kitchen.  
“I need to check on the bread, I’ll be back in a second”.  
He closed the door behind him and pressed his lips together.  
No one had had that effect on him, only having spoken less than five sentences to each other.  
He already wanted to kiss the other boy.  
Ronan took a deep breath and took the bowls where the bread dough had been left to rise and checked on them.

He heard the door open and then close softly.

“Hey”.The soft femenine voice made him smile and the next thing he felt were his mother’s arms around his waist. “Are you doing okay? I know that a lot of people together can sort of overwhelm you”. There was a soft tone of worry behind Aurora’s voice.   
“Yeah”, Ronan replied softly. “Don’t worry, everything’s fine”.  
Aurora smiled looking at him.  
“So…” her hand patted his shoulder two times. “Adam?” She lifted both of her eyebrows suggestively. “You like him?”, he could see that his mum wasn’t asking just because she liked to gossip, but because, as she had already told him several times, wanted to see him as happy as possible, and that, in Ronan’s world, included a partner.

“Do I like him? I don’t know, I mean, I’ve only talked to him for like three minutes” Ronan shrugged. “Am I attracted to him? Yes I am”. He admitted without a problem.

Aurora smiled and put his hand on his son’s forearm. “Then do yourself a favour, get out there, and try”.  
She got closer to the kitchen door and, putting one hand inside of one of the pockets of her apron and took out several tiny mistletoe branches.  
“Remember to watch out for these…”   
That was the moment Adam chose to enter the kitchen.  
“Or not”. Aurora smiled and got out of the room without so much as a glance back.

“Hey” Adam said, “sorry if I interrupted something, I can go if you want me to?”  
“Stay” Ronan said looking at the other boy, “unless you’re too much of a posh ivy league boy to get your hands dirty with bread dough”.  
Adam instantly stepped more decidedly into the kitchen, rolling up his sweater’s sleeves and walking directly to where Ronan was.  
“What do I have to do”.

\---------------------------------

Ronan was finishing giving form to the last loaf while Adam took two out of the oven.  
“Okay I’m gonna be kind of obssesed with making bread now”. Adam said, cleaning up a drop of sweat that was going down his temple with the hem of his sweater, revealing the soft still slightly toned abs that hid behind it.  
Ronan wanted to kiss that, lick it, worship it.  
His mouth went dry and he tried to swallow without success.

“So,” Ronan almost whispered, “and just so we’re clear” He got even closer to Adam, the boy’s hips hitting the countertop. “You like boys”.  
Adam’s gaze flew to his and he nodded.  
“And you find me attractive,” Ronan said.  
Adam nodded again.  
“Good,” a soft smile was starting to show on Ronan’s lips, “I find you attractive too”.  
Now Adam’s eyes grew even wider and something shifted in his eyes.  
“You do?”Adam's warm fingers from handling the bread found their way under Ronan’s ugly sweater, soft fingertips against skin.  
Ronan put his hand on top of the countertop, on both sides of Adam’s hips, and supported his body weight in them.  
“I definitely do”, Ronan’s lips got closer and closer to Adam’s neck, just a mere soft brush.  
“Please,” Adam whispered.  
And who was Ronan to deny this boy anything if they both wanted it.

His lips finally touched Adam’s neck, softly at first, but then they were full mouthed kisses, going up down to the hint of collarbone the boy’s sweater allowed to be on plain sight, then up again to Adam’s soft, tanned neck, slowly making way to his sharp jaw.

Ronan’s hands pushed Adam’s hips to his, and he finally looked at him in the eyes.  
Adam tilted his head back a little and their noses bumped, their lips almost touching.  
The boy’s voice was soft when he murmured “Can I kiss you, Ronan?”

Then Blue’s loud laugh approached the kitchen door, and after a second of looking at one another, they decided to separate and pretend that they had been doing something that wasn’t drinking each other with their eyes for the last ten minutes.

Blue, Gansey and Matthew entered the kitchen seconds later.

“We just came here to check you haven’t died in here, you’ve been lost in this bread making nonsense for two hours!”.

“It’s not nonsense, Dick, tomorrow you’ll eat your toast made with store bought bread while all of us are eating one of these” He softly pat one of the already baked loaves, “let’s see how nonsensical you think it is”.

Gansey looked at Ronan with a knowing glint in his eyes.  
“Okay, okay” He put his hands up as if mocking surrender.

\--------------------------  
The only person left in the kitchen besides Ronan, was Matthew.

“How are you feeling? With all of these people at the barns I mean, I know you’ve been kind of alone for the past semester and I know you can get overwhelmed”.  
He knew that his mum and his brother were asking because they worried about him, but honestly this was a bit too much.  
“Matthew I promise, if I get overwhelmed, I’ll let you know, same with mum.”  
Matthew studied him for a second and then shrugged. “Promise me?”.  
“I promise...Now, I have to ask you something”.  
Matthew was looking at him expectantly.

“How much would you mind me starting something with Adam?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this.  
> thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter Three: Leather Bracelets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mind immediately went back to the day before.  
> Ronan’s soft hands against the skin of his hips, his breath against his parted lips, the almost kiss in the kitchen.

23rd of December.

Adam opened his eyes slowly, enjoying the softness of the sheets that covered him and the bed in one of the barn’s guest rooms.

His mind immediately went back to the day before.  
Ronan’s soft hands against the skin of his hips, his breath against his parted lips, the almost kiss in the kitchen.

Two days ago, he would have never thought he would be in his situation.  
He put two of his fingers to his lips and smiled.  
What was he going to do?  
Because he honestly didn’t want Ronan Lynch if it was only for a weekend, he knew for a fact that once he had Ronan Lynch once, he would never have enough of him.

There was a soft knock on the door, so Adam got up and opened it slightly.  
A beautiful, shirtless Ronan Lynch was standing just centimeters away from him, and, without even realizing what he was doing, his hand was on the other boy’s chest.  
His gaze flew first to Ronan’s eyes, and then, slowly, to his lips.

“Good morning”, his voice was deeper than usual, just because he had just woken up.  
“Good morning”, said the other boy, taking the hand on his chest and kissing Adam’s knuckles.  
Adam bit his bottom lip and gave one step back.  
“Wanna come in?”  
Ronan nodded and got into the room.

Adam sat on the bed and brought his feet up, so that he could rest his head on his knees, and looked at the gorgeous boy that was Ronan in the light of the room he was sleeping in.

“I just came here to see if you were awake and wanted to have breakfast with me”, said Ronan, one hand on the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.  
“Just you and I?”  
“That’s kind of the plan, yeah”, Ronan tried to straighten his posture, as if he didn’t want to give off the impression that he was not as calm as he wanted to appear.  
Adam got up from the bed again and walked to Ronan.  
“Okay, let me get dressed and I’ll see you in the kitchen”, he said with a confident smile.  
“Okay?” Ronan asked, looking at Adam with a happy glint in his eyes.  
Adam nodded slowly, “It’s a date”, then, in mere seconds, his lips were on Ronan’s in a kiss that lasted just a little more than a second, but left them both breathless.

\-----------------------------------

When Adam stepped in the kitchen he was suddenly enveloped by the smell of bread on a pan.

His lips turned into a smile when he saw the loaf they had made the day before had only half of it left.  
He cleared his throat and Ronan looked up from the three pans he was currently in the middle of supervising.

“I hope you don’t mind it’s toast” , his wrist went to his mouth as he bit the leather bands that were permanently there.  
He was nervous, even if he didn’t want Adam to know.

“Hey, it’s fine”, Adam smiled and sat on the chair next to the table, and looked at Ronan again. “Wait! Do you need help?”, he got up immediately and walked to the other boy.

Ronan sent a glance to the pans just to make sure nothing was burning, put both hands on Adam’s hips and attracted the boy to his chest.  
“Can I kiss you?”, he asked, already his lips next to Adam’s.  
“Please do”.  
In the end it’s Adam who puts his lips in Ronan’s.

They move their lips in unison, enjoying each other slowly, with the calmness that could only be given by knowing that they are the only people awake in the house.  
Ronan parted his lips from Adam’s and took a slow breath, his eyes locking with the other boy’s.  
“Give me one second”, he said, voice hoarse, and turned around, turning off the stove.

Then Ronan’s hands were on his hips again and Adam was sitting on the countertop, the other boy between his legs.  
Their lips were clashing together in seconds, Adam’s desperate hands on Ronan’s neck, his nails against Ronan’s shoulders.  
Ronan’s hands were against the skin of his back, pulling him impossibly closer to him, their lips moving, biting, tongues licking.  
Ronan’s hands moved slowly, only to end up on his thighs.  
They separate slowly, Adam’s hands on both of Ronan’s cheeks.  
Two of his fingers go to Ronan’s lips, and the other boy’s throat releases a soft moan.

Adam smiled and got off the countertop with a small jump.  
“Let’s have breakfast?” Adam said with a smile, taking Ronan’s hand in his own.

\--------------------------

Adam was in the living room, decorating it with Matthew while Ronan, Blue, Gansey and Aurora were making dinner.

“Hey, pass me that box please?”, Matthew pointed to a box and Adams got down on his knees to pick up the box.  
“So...my brother likes you”, Adam’s hands faltered and he knew he was blushing.  
“If it helps, I like him too”, Adam whispered when he was close enough to him.

Matthew positively beamed at him “You do?”.  
Adam nodded and gave him a small smile.  
He stepped on the stool and started putting some ornaments on the top part of the tree.  
“Oh I totally do, and not in the let’s have a Christmas fling and forget about each other the second we’re not together anymore way”.

There’s a shattering sound to his right and Adam looks in the direction where the sound comes from, only to find Ronan, his hand as if it was still holding the glass that was now broken on the floor, blushing like crazy and looking at Adam with a smile.

“Good, Parrish because I just don’t do casual”.

\---------------------

He was walking to the barn where the guest rooms were, his steps slow and tired.  
“Adam!” called Ronan’s voice from the principal barn’s doorstep.  
Adam turned around and looked at the boy, his pale face practically shining in the moonlight.  
“Yeah?”  
“Come here a second?”  
He nodded and walked back.  
Ronan took Adam’s hand in his and smiled softly at him.  
“Do you want to come up to my room? Like, we don’t have to do anything, but I kind of want to spend more time with you”.  
Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
“Can I sleep with you?” he asked and Ronan nodded immediately. “Good, because I’m, honestly, not in the mood to walk back to the other barn at two am”.


	4. Chapter Four: Bedsheets

24th of December

Ronan looked at the beautiful boy that was sitting at the edge of his bed, returning his gaze with the same intensity.  
The boy's cheeks had a nice blush, covering the smooth freckled skin, and Ronan had to clench his fists to keep from throwing himself on Adam and kissing him until he was out of breath.

He walked slowly to the bed and sat next to him, taking the boy's fingers and bringing them to his mouth.  
Adam held his breath, connecting his gaze with Ronan's.  
"I need to understand why I like you so much, despite not having spoken to you before this vacation.I need to know why I feel like I should start a serious relationship with you, even if it’s going to be hard as hell because you’re in uni and I’m here. I need to know why you look like you want exactly the same".

Adam put the soles of his feet on the bed, rested his chin on his knees and reconnected his gaze with the other's blue gaze.  
"I don't know if this will do much good, but you've been my crush for years." Adam admitted.  
Ronan's eyebrows shot up and it was clear that there was a question on his lips.  
“You want to know why I never said anything or tried to get close to you”.  
The boy nodded, looking at Adam slowly, drinking up every part of the boy he could put his eyes in.  
"Well, in my defense I will say that you don't seem like the type of person who likes to socialize. That, and that I was going to go to college in a few months and didn't want to start something that would tie me to Henrietta in any way."

"And now? Would you start something with someone who would tie you to Henrietta, that would want you to come back every holiday, everyday possible?"  
Ronan's eyes shone brightly in the gloom of his room, his gaze sweeping across Adam's freckled face.

Adam looked Ronan in the eye and smiled softly.  
"Fuck yeah," he bit his lip and rested a hand on Ronan's cheek, his fingers drawing meaningless patterns on the boy's smooth skin.  
Ronan smiled and rested his lips on Adam's, savoring the other boy's taste, slowly, one of his hands on Adam's neck, the other on his back.  
He spread his fingers wide and ran down the smooth skin of the other boy's back, moving his hand further and further until it reached Adam's lower back.  
Two dimples rested there.  
And Ronan went crazy, kissing Adam again, with much more passion than before, trying to savor the other boy as much as possible.

"Are you sure?" His lips nipped at the skin of Adam's neck, slowly, the tip of his tongue tracing the path between two moles.  
Adam groaned, leaned on one of his elbows to sit up and, breaking away from the kiss and resting a hand on Ronan's chest, pushed him back on the bed, until his back was pressed against the mattress, and in this way Adam could sit on Ronan's thighs.  
"I'm sure" Adam murmured and rested both hands on Ronan's chest, stroking it to the edge of the sweater and pulling it off with the help of Ronan, who lifted his back off the bed to facilitate the task.  
Ronan's hands slipped under Adam's sweater and it didn't take Adam a moment to remove it and toss it into some corner of the room.  
Ronan's hands kept moving, as if the boy couldn't decide which part of Adam's body he wanted to touch most urgently.

Adam's lips meanwhile, took care to travel around Ronan's neck, slowly, alternating bites with licks and soft kisses, until they reached his earlobe, which he bit gently just at the moment when Ronan's hands they slid from his back to his ass, one hand on each cheek.  
Adam groaned in Ronan's ear and Ronan started gasping in the other boy's neck.

“Fucking hell” he said, putting both of his hands in Adam’s shoulders, “wait, wait...fuck, I don’t have condoms”.  
Adam looked him in the eye and shrugged “just touching is fine for me”, he kissed the boy’s chest, just beside his right nipple and flicked his tongue against Ronan’s nipple piercing. “you’re just so hot”, he said, both hands on Ronan’s waist to keep him in place.

Adam rested both hands on his abdomen and rubbed against him slowly, noticing how Ronan's cock was filling.  
“Look who’s talking” Ronan groaned.  
Ronan caught Adam by the hips and turned both of their bodies so that Adam was underneath him.  
The boy's eyes were bright, his lips were swollen and red, impatient hands ran over all of Ronan's visible skin.  
And Ronan had never seen anything more beautiful than the boy in front of him right now.

\----------------

When morning came, Ronan woke up with a handful of a naked, beautiful boy almost on top of him, snoring softly, his breath against Ronan’s neck.

Adam's thigh was between his, soft skin against soft skin, and Ronan couldn't help but smile, leaving a small kiss on Adam's forehead and getting up very slowly, trying not to make a noise, to go to the bathroom.

When he returned to the room, a sleepy Adam welcomed him.  
Adam was putting on his boxers when Ronan entered the room.  
The boy's fingers closed around Ronan's discarded shirt from the night before, with a question in his eyes, Adam looked at Ronan.  
And Ronan simply nodded, feeling like his chest was about to burst from the happiness he was feeling at that moment.

He wasn't fooling himself, and he knew the road was going to be difficult, with Adam living far away from the university and only seeing each other on a few occasions. But despite that, he hadn't felt as full of happiness for years as he did in that moment.

And Adam wanted to have a relationship with him, to really try to make it work.  
To go downstairs and make it official to his family and their friends. And that, in Ronan’s heart and head was priceless.

Because Ronan was a creature made of the love he received, his family was important to him, perhaps the most important thing of them all, his religion was important, his way of showing love was important.  
And last night, instead of looking scared about how serious Ronan already was about this relationship that was so new, so fragile, Adam had looked at him with hope, and acceptance.

Because it looked like Adam knew this wasn’t just a game for Ronan, that he wasn’t someone for Ronan to just spend the holidays with, that Ronan wanted him forever if he wanted to stay.  
And Adam had looked desperate to stay.

They had spent the whole night touching each other, discovering their bodies, but also their souls.  
Ronan now knew things Adam had not even told Gansey.  
He knew about Adam’s asshole of a father, how he had always dreamt of becoming a lawyer to be able to defend people that were or had been in his own situation, he knew how much Adam loved nature because it made him feel freem how he had almost studied to the point of almost dying of exhaustion.

All of the new information he had gathered about Adam, from how he liked to sleep in on the weekends to his face when he had an orgasm, had only made Ronan fall more and more for him.  
Of course he wasn’t in love, not yet, but he knew he was going to.  
Because everything with Adam just clicked, made perfect sense, everything felt comfortable and not in a rush.

They knew they would only be together for three days more, but they were taking everything as slow as they wanted.  
They had promised each other honesty, and respect, and understanding.

They had bared their souls for the other to see, they had spent the whole night getting to know each other, bodies, and feelings and thoughts.  
And Ronan had never felt more sure about one of his relationships ever. 

Ronan gave Adam’s lips a peck.  
“Let’s go make breakfast?”


	5. Chapter Five: New years eve

31st of December 

Adam woke up slowly, opening his eyes carefully, lazilly, he wasn’t needed anywhere but in Ronan’s bed,and that was a fact he was sure as hell going to enjoy.

He felt soft, cold fingertips against the skin of his lower back.  
Ronan was awake.  
His lips tugged into a smile involuntarily and he moved his head slowly until he could make eye contact with the boy he was sharing a bed with.

Ronan’s eyes twinkled with happiness and comfort, a softness in his factions that Adam felt grateful to be the one to which that gaze was directed to.  
Adam had always known anger and destruction, and to be the center of attention to something so contrary to that, to be able to enjoy the kind of calmness he only thought was possible in movies made him feel privileged, happier than he had been in a very long time.

Ronan put his hand on his cheek and moved his own head until their lips were almost touching.

“Good morning” his hoarse voice made something jump inside Adam’s chest and he could only smile.  
“Good morning” he whispered back, finally touching the boy’s lips with his.  
A short, sweet kiss that made Ronan smile.

“So what’s the plan today?” Adam asked, his hand slowly caressing Ronan’s soft chest skin, lazy strokes, every movement ever so slow, like they didn’t want anyone to interrupt the moment, not even themselves.

Ronan closed his eyes and smiled.  
“Whatever the hell you want to do, honestly, new year’s has never been a big thing around here, so we basically get to do whatever we want until like eleven pm”.

Adam took Ronan’s face in his hands and looked at the beautiful icy blue eyes of the other boy.  
“You’re so fucking beautiful”, Adam whispered, and put his lips on Ronan’s.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Adam was dreading the moment the new year began, because that meant that he would only have one day left at the barns, one day only to explore these new feelings that were blooming in his chest every time his eyes encountered Ronan’s silhouette.

It wasn’t love, he wasn’t that naive; but he knew that’s how you felt when you could fall in love with that someone, he knew that loving Ronan Lynch was more of a ‘when’ than an ‘if’, and, for the first time ever, he was okay with that.

Because he wanted to love him, he wanted it too much, as much as he had been wanting Ronan for literal years.  
But it had never been a possibility, now it was.  
It was tangible and beautiful,and pure, but also dirty, and sexy and needy.

His brain seemed to be buzzing with the memories of the night before.  
Ronan’s hands on his back, nails bluntly pressed against his muscles, the other boy’s mouth making its way from Adam’s neck to his chest, to his lips, then back again, and again.  
The sound of Ronan’s moans when he had slipped his fingers inside of the boy’s mouth, the shining light on his eyes.

His other hand on Ronan’s flushed cock, as if it had always belonged there.  
Ronan gasping, moaning around his fingers desperately.  
“You’re so hot”, he had whispered in Ronan’s neck, his hot breath coming super fast.

A hand on Adam’s shoulder made him come back to reality, and he knew he was blushing.  
But again, for the first time, he didn’t care.


	6. Chapter Six: The future

Three years later.

Ronan opened his eyes slowly, hoping to find his fiancé right in front of him, eyes closed, sleepy mumbling, his whole body warmth spreading through the sheets, enveloping him in it.

But Adam wasn’t there, and there was something inside of him that totally panicked at the thought of Adam leaving him.  
He knew it was an irrational fear,because he knew that Adam loved him, and wanted to marry him and spend the rest of their lives together.

Adam had been the one holding his hand reassuringly when he had decided he wanted to start going to therapy, the one that had helped him deal with his loneliness, his fear of not being truly enough, the constant need of reassurance that Adam wasn’t going to go anywhere, that he wasn’t going to leave him.

So Ronan took a deep breath and got out of bed, he put on his boxers and moved silently through the house, searching for some indicator of where Adam could be.

The kitchen light was on, and a dirty mug that looked like it had previously contained hot chocolate was abandoned in the sink, and Ronan felt relief filling his whole chest.  
Of course Adam was there.  
Adam loved him.  
Adam could love anyone.  
But Adam had chosen him.  
He was safe, he was loved.  
He took another deep breath and smiled when he heard the door open.

“Did I wake you up?” Adam’s soft voice sounds in the silent kitchen.  
Ronan shook his head no and put his hands on his fiancé’s hips.  
“I almost freak out”, Ronan admitted.  
At first it felt humiliating, to admit his insecurities and traumas so openly.  
But this was Adam, and he understood, and he didn’t judge, and he loved him still.  
And he knew Ronan wasn’t just a possessive asshole.  
He knew Ronan didn’t think he owned him.  
He supported Ronan and had held his hand all the way.  
“But you didn’t?”, Adam asked sweetly.  
“I didn’t”.  
Adam’s eyes got wet really quickly, and in a rushed movement Ronan’s body was flushed against the other boy’s one.  
“I’m so proud of you, Ronan, oh my god”, he whispered in his neck, leaving soft kisses on the sensitive skin there. “Sorry I didn’t wake you up to tell you, you just looked incredibly peaceful”, he said, a noticeable pang of guilt in his voice.  
“It’s fine”, Ronan said, and he felt it, it was going to be fine, even if it took him months, or even years.

“We should go back to bed, you know, Gansey and Blue are coming tomorrow, and I don’t think this will be as peaceful as it is now for at least a week”.  
Ronan smiled, and, together, hand in hand, they climbed the stairs to their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading this!  
> I hope you liked it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> :)

**Author's Note:**

> all comments are incredibly appreciated.  
> :)


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